Pickup artist

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
For other uses, see The Pick-up Artist.

Pickup artists (PUA) are people whose goals are seduction and sexual success. Predominantly heterosexual men, they often self-identify as the seduction community or the pickup community. This community exists through various channels, including internet newsletters, blogs, seminars and one-on-one coaching, forums, groups, and local clubs known as "lairs".[1]

The rise of "seduction science", "game",[2] or "studied charisma" has been attributed to modern forms of dating and social norms between sexes which have developed from a perceived increase in the equality of women in western society and changes to traditional gender roles.[3] Commentators in the media have described "game" as sexist or misogynistic.[4]

History[edit]

Modern pickup artist practices have been traced to the 1967 publication of The Art of Erotic Seduction by rational emotive psychotherapist Albert Ellis and Roger Conway and the 1970 publication of How to Pick Up Girls! by Eric Weber. These how-to guides encourage men to meet women through the "pickup".[5]

Ross Jeffries taught workshops, promoted a collection of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques called "seed seduction", and in 1991 published How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed.[6] Other exponents established themselves in roughly the same era but lacked contact with each other. In 1994, Lewis De Payne, then a student of Jeffries, founded the newsgroup alt.seduction.fast (ASF).[6] This spawned a network of other Internet discussion forums, email lists, blogs, and sites where seduction information and techniques could be shared.[6][7][unreliable source?]

Other pickup teachers emerged with competing methods, and became known within this community as "seduction gurus" or "gurus".[8] Their study groups gradually developed into meeting groups for the seduction community, known as "seduction lairs".[9] A lair typically involves an online forum and in-person group meetings.[10] In the late 1990s, Clifford Lee began his Cliff's List Seduction Letter as a central independent voice of the community.[11]

The community was brought to greater mainstream awareness with the 1999 film Magnolia, in which Tom Cruise portrayed a charismatic yet embittered and emotionally troubled pickup guru who was loosely modeled on Jeffries.[12] In 2005, journalist Neil Strauss published The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, an exposé of the community which reached the New York Times Bestseller List and made pickup techniques known to a wider audience.[13] The community was further publicized with the television show The Pick Up Artist (2007–2008) on VH1.

Concepts[edit]

Many pickup artists (commonly abbreviated PUA[citation needed]) work on their "game" by improving their understanding of psychology, their confidence, and self-esteem – collectively termed "inner game" – and their social skills and physical appearance (physical fitness, fashion sense, grooming) – collectively termed the "outer game". Many members of the community believe that one's "game" is refined through regular practice,[14] with the idea that the abilities needed to interact in this way with women can be improved.

The pickup community has a special terminology for describing "game" and male–female dynamics and social interaction.[8] Learned through study groups and products, this creates an insular community. Pickup terms are borrowed from everyday English vocabulary or from male-dominated fields like business, sports and the military, and can be quite opaque for the unindoctrinated.[15]

Industry[edit]

The former pickup artist Roosh V, who has since recanted aspects of his past and converted to Oriental Orthodox Christianity, had self-published 14 books describing techniques for seducing women.[16][17] According to Salon, such books are the "cash cow" of the pickup industry.[18] The culture surrounding pickup has spawned an entire industry servicing those who want to improve their social and seduction skills with consultations and in-field training.[19]

The media attention and rapid increase in pickup gurus have led to commercialization and competition. Gurus sell workshops, books, e-books, DVDs, CDs, online video courses, and video-call mentoring over the Internet.

Practices[edit]

There are a variety of schools of thought that promote different pickup methods. These range from approaches that are very indirect and which stress starting with casual conversation, to methods in which attraction is communicated very openly and directly.[20] Pickup artists generally do not believe in relying on good looks, instinct, or society conventions, but in achieving success through empirical means.[21]

Pickup artists generally assume that men should assume a dominant mindset – leading and initiating contacts and the conversation in general – in order to be more masculinely attractive, and that women will not generally initiate contact. This presumption requires men to begin any interaction by approaching the woman.[citation needed] Pickup artists often approach repetitively, alone or with a wingman. Strauss describes a pickup artist who conducted 125 approaches in one day.[22] The "Mystery Method" encourages approaching groups of strangers and giving attention to all members of the group without initiating conversation with the "target" until attraction has been established.[23]

The Jeffries version of pickup is based on neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), a theory that claims the existence of a connection between neurological processes, language, and behavioural patterns learned through experience. This version of pickup supposes that one can model a person to obtain their skills. However, scientific consensus is that NLP is a pseudoscience and its methods have no evidentiary base.[24] Later pickup gurus abandoned Jeffries's claims while continuing to employ the basic elements of NLP.[24] Strauss claims that NLP was quickly rendered obsolete by the rise of techniques based on social dynamics, such as those employed in attraction-comfort-seduction progressions.[23]

Negging is one of Erik von Markovik's most infamous techniques, and has been described as the practice of giving a woman a backhanded compliment to weaken her confidence and thereby render her more vulnerable to seduction.[25] Depriving the woman of obsequious validation and attention may influence her to actively seek such from the man who negs her.[26] Strauss states that the primary purpose of negging is for the man to disqualify himself as a potential suitor, thereby allowing for interaction on less loaded terms. Journalist Conor Friedersdorf condemned the use of negging by pick-up artists, but admitted that it did appear to be effective at generating attraction from some women.[27][28][29][30]

"Pawning" is trading or discarding an unwanted woman as proof of the PUA's own social value, and "going caveman" is escalating physical contact while reducing verbal contact.[31]

One constellation of PUA techniques, called "last minute resistance" (LMR) tactics, is designed to convince a woman to have sex after she has indicated that she does not want to. This includes tactics from those which are mutually beneficial – such as being okay with the woman being on her period – to callous manipulation and rape.[32]

Criticism[edit]

Having a notorious reputation outside the community, the PUA movement has been described as sexist,[33] misogynistic,[34][35][36] and pseudoscientific.[37][38][39] Roosh V has been called hateful and a misogynist for his views on women and sex by the Southern Poverty Law Center,[34][35][36] and accused of rape advocacy and multiple instances of rape depicted in his books.[40][41][42]

Feminist BDSM writer and activist Clarisse Thorn, author of Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser: Long Interviews with Hideous Men, criticizes the PUA community as frequently "absurd and sexist" and "pushy and problematic", saying that it encourages adversarial gender roles. However, she also argues that PUA tactics are worth understanding because they are not unique to the PUA community, but instead represent society-wide beliefs and patterns and strategies of human sexual behaviour.[32] Other dating coaches, such as Sebastian Harris, publicly speak against the misogynistic tendencies of pickup artists.[43] The UCLA Center for the Study of Women argues that PUA culture is misogynistic, and exists on a continuum of sexist behaviours and attitudes that includes rape and murder.[44]

Pickup artists have received mixed to negative responses from the press and general public, with many regarding both the practice and theory as immoral, sexist, and ineffective.[citation needed] In 2014, following widely supported public petitions, US-based PUA speaker and instructor Julien Blanc was denied entry to both the United Kingdom and Australia after he published YouTube videos explaining and demonstrating behaviors such as grabbing women by the throat and forcing their heads towards his crotch.[45][46][47]

An article in the Houston Press claimed that pickup artist activity "isn't the lechfest it might sound like". The article quotes the webmaster of confidentup.com defending the community: "It's no more deceptive than push-up bras or heels or going to the gym to work out...This isn't just a game of words and seduction, it's an overall life improvement."[48] Strauss says, "I really think all of these routines and manipulations are just a way for a guy to get his foot in the door so that if a woman connects with him, she can still choose him" and that pickup techniques "can be used for good or evil".[14][49] He argues that "women are incredibly intuitive – the creepy guys with bad intentions don't do nearly as well as the guys who love and respect women".[50]

An article in San Francisco Magazine recounts the experience of the blogger "Dolly" with pickup artists. According to the article, Dolly was:

...put off by PUAs at first. But after she met more, including two from San Francisco, she wrote a letter to the Village Voice defending them, in response to the paper’s negative article on the subject in March. "PUAs try to create a fun, positive, and exciting experience for the woman," Dolly wrote. "The credo many follow is 'Leave her better than you found her.' What’s so bad about that? That they want to get laid, too? Guess what? Guys have always wanted sex and will continue to want sex. You can’t fault them for finally discovering methods that are successful."[51]

After spending three days immersed in a Mystery Method Corp (now Love Systems) seminar, journalist Gene Weingarten expressed his uneasiness about "a step by step tutorial for men in how to pick up women, make them comfortable in your presence, and bed them, ideally within seven hours of your first meeting". He became concerned about the ethics of an institutionally taught skill of seduction, practicing pick-up lines, acting genuine and unguarded, and gently persuading a stranger toward having sex.[52]

Journalist Hugo Rifkind participated in a similar seminar by Strauss. Rifkind describes initially struggling with pickup techniques, eventually learning to attract women's interest, and then feeling guilty. When he attracts a woman's attention, "she is – quite honestly – looking at me like I'm the most fascinating person she's ever met. As a human being and, perhaps more crucially, as somebody with a girlfriend, I feel like absolute scum."[53]

Academic research[edit]

An academic paper on the community, published in 2012 by Eric C. Hendriks in the journal Cultural Analysis, details the value system guiding successful pickup artists based on an international study including participant observation of boot camp and "lair" meetings in Germany. The article argues that the values of successful practitioners of the "Venusian arts" are informed by an intertwining of "hedonistic goals and diffused forms of innerworldly asceticism". According to Hendricks, the hedonistic goal of sexual satisfaction interacts in a complex fashion with a set of "disciplinarian and ascetic values", and the author stresses that these disciplinarian and ascetic values are central to the value system of performant practitioners, even though the marketing of gurus often promises an easy, effortless "quick fix".[54]

Andrew King's cultural history of the pickup artist in the journal Sexuality & Culture argues that, as a genre, the growth of PUA philosophy parallels the rise of feminism in academic and popular culture – and in some ways can be seen as a critique of its limitations, particularly the idea of gender egalitarianism.[55]

Consistent with this line of thinking, psychologist Petra Boynton has stated that there is "no evidence of effectiveness" for any claims by pickup artists.[56] On the other hand, a 2012 academic review article in Evolutionary Psychology by Nathan Oesch and Igor Miklousic argues that many of the principles advocated by the community – including generating attraction, establishing rapport, and achieving mutual seduction – appear to have a degree of evidence-based support in social, physiological, and evolutionary psychology.[57]

Notable members[edit]

See also[edit]

Notable books[edit]

  • Strauss, Neil (2005). The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. ReganBooks. ISBN 0-06-055473-8.
  • Strauss, Neil (2007). Rules of the Game. HarperCollins. ISBN 978-0060554736.
  • Browne, Joy (2006). Dating for dummies. Wiley. ISBN 0-471-76870-7.
  • Markovik, Erik von (Mystery); Chris Odom (2007). The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed. St. Martin's Press. ISBN 978-0312360115.
  • Greene, Robert (2004). The Art of Seduction. Profile Books. ISBN 1861977697.
  • O'Neill, Rachel (2018). Seduction: Men, Masculinity and Mediated Intimacy.[58] Wiley ISBN 9781509521555.

References[edit]

  1. ^ "Winging it". The Age. 29 January 2007. Retrieved 17 November 2013.
  2. ^ Love, Dylan (September 15, 2013). "Inside Red Pill, The Weird New Cult For Men Who Don't Understand Women". Business Insider. Retrieved April 1, 2015.
  3. ^ Hymowitz, Kay S., "Love in the Time of Darwinism Archived 2016-03-03 at the Wayback Machine", City Journal, Autumn 2008
  4. ^ Singal, Jesse (28 May 2014). "There's a Difference Between Misogyny and Severe Mental Illness". New York magazine. Retrieved 9 June 2014.
  5. ^ Ellis, Albert; Conway, Roger (1967). The art of erotic seduction. New York: Lyle Stuart.
  6. ^ a b c Strauss, Neil (25 January 2004). "He Aims! He Shoots! Yes!!". The New York Times. Archived from the original on 14 February 2011. Retrieved 12 May 2011.
  7. ^ Bill Forman (8 February 2006). "Working Overtime on the Seduction Line". Metroactive. Metro Publishing Inc. Retrieved 26 November 2010.
  8. ^ a b Kristian Gravenor (14 July 2005). "Seduction for Dummies". Montreal Mirror. Communications Gratte-Ciel Ltée. Archived from the original on 16 July 2005. Retrieved 26 November 2010.
  9. ^ Alex Molotkow (2 April 2008). "Portrait of a Pickup Artist". Eye Weekly. Star Media Group. Archived from the original on 7 February 2010. Retrieved 26 November 2010.
  10. ^ Neil Strauss (25 January 2004). "From Chump to Pickup Artist via 'The Community'". Herald-Journal. Retrieved 17 November 2013.
  11. ^ Jenny Yuen (13 April 2008). "Disgraced doctor is T.O's seduction guru". Toronto Sun. Sun Media. Retrieved 26 November 2010.
  12. ^ Konow, David (January/February 2000). "PTA Meeting: An Interview with Paul Thomas Anderson". Creative Screenwriting.
  13. ^ Aimee Levitt (9 April 2008). "Cock and Awe". Riverfront Times. Archived from the original on 29 June 2011. Retrieved 26 November 2010.
  14. ^ a b George Lianne (29 August 2005). "Q&A with Author Neil Strauss". Maclean's. Kenneth Whyte. Archived from the original on 19 June 2010. Retrieved 27 November 2010.
  15. ^ Daria Dayter, Sofia Rüdiger In other words: ‘The language of attraction’ used by pick-up artists // English Today, Volume 35, Issue 2, June 2019, pp. 13-19
  16. ^ Jule Banville, "Blogger Stud Living in Dad’s Basement, Writing Second Book on How to Get Laid", "Washington City Paper", 2008
  17. ^ "Infamous Pickup Artist RooshV Says He's a Christian Now". RELEVANT Magazine. May 23, 2019. Retrieved June 5, 2019.
  18. ^ Lu, Peter (2011-09-20). "Simple Pickup: Are these the greatest pickup artists of all time?". Salon.com. Retrieved 2013-03-10.
  19. ^ Mountford, J. B. "Topic Modeling The Red Pill." Social Sciences 7.3 (2018): 42
  20. ^ "The Matrix couldn't dream up the internet of 2018". The A.V. Club. 27 February 2018.
  21. ^ Megan McArdle (12 July 2010). "Pickup Artists: The Girliest of Men". The Atlantic. Atlantic Media Company. Retrieved 29 September 2010.
  22. ^ Strauss, p. 298
  23. ^ a b Erik von Markovik, "The Mystery Method: How to get beautiful women into bed", St Martin's Press, 2007
  24. ^ a b Viren Swami Attraction Explained: The science of how we form relationships // Routledge (2016)
  25. ^ Baker, Katie J.M. (Fall 2013). "Cockblocked by Redistribution: A Pick-up Artist in Denmark". Dissent Magazine. Retrieved 7 June 2014.
  26. ^ Belknap, S. G. "Love in the Age of the Pickup Artist", The Point, 2014
  27. ^ Friedersdorf, Conor (22 July 2009). "Some I Insult, Some I Let Go". True/Slant. Archived from the original on 2 February 2010. Retrieved 23 December 2015.
  28. ^ Friedersdorf, Conor, "Dating and Deception", The Atlantic, 22 July 2009
  29. ^ Friedersdorf, Conor, ""The Neg" Cont'd", The Atlantic, 24 July 2009
  30. ^ Friedersdorf, Conor, "Stop Negging Them On!", The American Scene, 8 August 2009
  31. ^ Koziol, Michael (28 May 2014). "Elliot Rodger and the creepy world of the pick-up artist". Sydney Morning Herald. Retrieved 7 June 2014.
  32. ^ a b Kaufman, Scott Barry (1 June 2012). "Interview with Pickup Artist Chaser Clarisse Thorn". Psychology Today. Retrieved 9 June 2014.
  33. ^ Marcotte, Amanda (25 May 2014). "How 'Pick-Up Artist' Philosophy and Its More Misogynist Backlash Shaped Mind of Alleged Killer Elliot Rodger". American Prospect. Retrieved 7 June 2014.
  34. ^ a b Ettachfini, Leila (2018-02-24). "The Heinous Acts That Earned Male Supremacists Their 'Hate Group' Designation". Retrieved 2019-12-16.
  35. ^ a b Mahdawi, Arwa (2019-05-25). "Can someone please send mushrooms to all the men's rights activists out there?". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077. Retrieved 2019-12-16.
  36. ^ a b "Misogyny: The Sites". Intelligence Report. SPLC. Spring 2012. Retrieved 8 May 2014.
  37. ^ Steadman, Ian (6 June 2014). "The Sexist Pseudoscience of Pick-Up Artists: The Dangers of "Alpha Male" Thinking". New Republic. Retrieved 7 June 2014.
  38. ^ Dewey, Caitlin (27 May 2014). "Inside the 'manosphere' that inspired Santa Barbara shooter Elliot Rodger". The Washington Post. Retrieved 7 June 2014.
  39. ^ Fogg, Ally (24 June 2013). "Why I have no truck with the art of the pick-up". The Guardian. Retrieved 10 June 2014.
  40. ^ Futrelle, David (2015-08-14). "Are Roosh V's "Bang" books how-to guides for rape?". Retrieved 2021-06-10.
  41. ^ Futrelle, David (2015-02-14). "An Icelandic woman has come forward to accuse Roosh V of rape, blogger reports". We Hunted The Mammoth. Retrieved 2021-06-10.
  42. ^ Futrelle, David (2015-02-17). "Pickup guru Roosh V: End rape by making it legal". We Hunted The Mammoth. Retrieved June 10, 2021.
  43. ^ Harris, Sebastian (1 May 2016). "Dear Woman Hater". Global Seducer. Sebastian Harris. Retrieved 24 May 2016.
  44. ^ Rodríguez, Gilda (December 2010). "From Misogyny to Murder: Everyday Sexism and Femicide in Cross-Cultural Context". CSW Update. UCLA Center for the Study of Women. Retrieved 9 June 2014.
  45. ^ Sullivan, Gail (10 November 2014). "'Dating coach' Julien Blanc kicked out of Australia for crude 'pick-up' schtick". The Washington Post. Retrieved 10 October 2015.
  46. ^ "Julien Blanc: UK denies visa to 'pick-up artist'". BBC News. 19 November 2014. Retrieved 10 October 2015.
  47. ^ Gibson, Megan (12 November 2014). "Is This the Most Hated Man in the World?". Time. Retrieved 10 October 2015.
  48. ^ Malisow, Craig (2 June 2005). "Keeping Score". Houston Press. Retrieved 27 October 2009.
  49. ^ Liese Spencer (12 September 2005). "Revealed: the dark arts of the ladykiller". The Scotsman. Archived from the original on 14 October 2007. Retrieved 27 November 2010.
  50. ^ Ganahl, Jane (25 November 2005). "Ahead of the game". San Francisco Chronicle. Retrieved 22 December 2006.
  51. ^ Yogis, Jaimal (2006). "What does it take to get a date in this town?". San Francisco Magazine. Archived from the original on 21 October 2006. Retrieved 22 December 2006.
  52. ^ Gene Weingarten (5 March 2008). "The Gene Pool: Sex and Deceit". The Washington Post. Retrieved 27 November 2010.
  53. ^ "Operation pick up". The Times. 2005-09-03.
  54. ^ "Cultural Analysis, Volume 11, 2012: Ascetic Hedonism / Eric C. Hendriks".
  55. ^ King, Andrew Stephen (2018). "Feminism's Flip Side: A Cultural History of the Pickup Artist". Sexuality & Culture. 22 (1): 299–315. doi:10.1007/s12119-017-9468-0. ISSN 1095-5143. S2CID 148720319.
  56. ^ Chivers, Tom (14 January 2010). "Pick-up artists, online seduction and dating tips". The Daily Telegraph. London. Archived from the original on 2022-01-12.
  57. ^ Oesch, Nathan (2012). "The Dating Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Emerging Science of Human Courtship". Evolutionary Psychology. 10 (5): 899–909. doi:10.1177/147470491201000511. ISSN 1474-7049. PMC 10429087.
  58. ^ "Seduction: Men, Masculinity and Mediated Intimacy | Media Studies | General Communication & Media Studies | Subjects | Wiley". Wiley.com. Retrieved 2019-09-08.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Pickup_artist&oldid=1225232209"