Talk:Mrs. Brisby/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Nominator: PrimalMustelid (talk · contribs) 15:35, 5 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: FishLoveHam (talk · contribs) 22:04, 5 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]


Hey, I'm going to be reviewing this article! My first GA review :) FishLoveHam (talk) 22:04, 5 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox[edit]

  • (Caption) "Mrs. Brisby, as she appears in the 1982 animated film The Secret of NIMH." → "Mrs. Brisby as she appears in the 1982 film"
  • "|created by=Don Bluth" → "|adapted by=Don Bluth" - She wasn't created by Bluth, he adapted the character for the film.
  • Remove "Don Bluth's grandmother" - seems a little informal.
  • Add her children to the infobox.
    •  Done with the infobox updates. Thanks for taking this review so far! PrimalMustelid (talk) 22:33, 5 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    No problem, keep up the good work!! FishLoveHam (talk) 00:31, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead[edit]

  • "Mrs. Brisby is a fictional field mouse who appears in Don Bluth Entertainment's animated film The Secret of NIMH (1982)" → "Mrs. Brisby is a fictional field mouse and the protagonist of the 1982 animated adventure film The Secret of NIMH, directed by Don Bluth"
  • "She is a film adaptation of the character Mrs. Frisby from the 1971 children's book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C. O'Brien and derives in personality from the grandmother of the film director Don Bluth. In the 1982 feature film, Mrs. Brisby is the last filmographic role of the actress Elizabeth Hartman, who by her own accord made the fictional character sound shy and timid." → "Adapted from the 1971 children's novel, Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, in which she is originally named "Mrs. Frisby", she is voiced by Elizabeth Hartman, in her final film role, who by her own accord made the fictional character sound shy and timid." - Less wordy
  • "She was originally named "Mrs. Frisby" like the book character but was renamed because of a copyright issue with the toy name "Frisbee" from the company Mattel." → "She was originally named "Mrs. Frisby" during production of the film, like the book character, but was renamed due to a copyright issue with the toy name "Frisbee" from the company Mattel."
  • Link "Frisbee"

Development[edit]

Origin[edit]

  • "The 1982 film The Secret of NIMH..." → "Mrs. Brisby first appears in the 1982 film The Secret of NIMH"
  • "is based directly on the fantasy and science fiction children's book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH" → "which is directly based on the fantasy/science fiction children's book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH"
    • Implemented, keeping in mind the underlined text for corrections. PrimalMustelid (talk) 01:50, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "plus" → "and"
  • "illustrated by Zena Bernstein and won the Newbery Medal in 1972" → "illustrated by Zena Bernstein. The book won the Newbery Medal in 1972"
  • "is about" → "follows"
  • "mouse mother named" → "mouse named"
  • "cares about her four children" → "cares for her four children"
  • "The farmer Fitzgibbon was planning" → "The farmer, Fitzgibbon, was planning"
  • "and the protagonist has to move" → "meaning Mrs. Frisby must move"
  • "according to the doctor mouse Mr. Ages," → "according to the doctor mouse, Mr. Ages,"
  • "he told Mrs. Frisby to seek help from an old owl" → "Mrs. Frisby must seek help from an old owl"
  • "relocate Mrs. Brisby's house" → "relocate Mrs. Frisby's house"
  • "came into contact with them and offered them" → "contacted them, offering"
  • "16" → "sixteen"
  • remove "based on the 1971 book by O'Brien."
  • "Bluth in his autobiography gave praise to the story" → "Bluth, in his autobiography, praised the story"

Characteristics and design[edit]

  • "Characteristics and design" → "Characterization and design"
  • "heroic protagonist" → "protagonist"
  • "Mrs. Brisby in the film is a field mouse donning a red cape" → "In the film, Mrs. Brisby is a field mouse who dons a red cape"
  • "Brisby is kind" → "Mrs. Brisby is kind"
  • "personality plus in a mournful state" → "personality, but in a mournful state"
  • remove the comma after "husband"
  • "The protagonist over the course of the movie never had her maiden name or first name revealed" → "Over the course of the film, her forename and maiden name are never revealed"
  • "Bluth wrote that the "timid yet brave Mrs. Frisby" reminded him of his grandmother because she worked hard to care for her thirteen children and always advised him whenever he visited her as a child, "Whatever problem you have, just put your shoulder to that wheel and go forward." Mrs. Brisby's emotional strength was drawn from that of Bluth's grandmother." - swap the sentences
    • Swapped, and added same citation for the latter sentence that was swapped. PrimalMustelid (talk) 01:50, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "always begging for help" → "who was always begging for help"
  • "made sure" → "ensured"
  • "Brisby may have been" → "Mrs. Brisby", change "may have been" to something like "was".
  • "Dave Spafford's pet rat named Waldo served as a model for the rats of NIMH, but Bluth did not specify if it also served as such for the mice characters like Mrs. Brisby." - remove, unrelated to Mrs. Brisby
  • "husband Jonathan" → "husband, Jonathan"
  • "thus making her as a character" - remove "as"
  • "independent" → "independently"
  • Last paragraph has little information about Mrs. Brisby, and is mostly a comparison of the film and the book. I don't think it's very necessary.

Voice and name change[edit]

  • "less capable actress" → "less capable voice actress"
  • "end up having" → "have"
  • "The actress Elizabeth Hartman" → "Actress Elizabeth Hartman"
  • "Los Angeles" → "Los Angeles, California" (also link)
  • "by 1982" → "in 1982"
  • "returning back home" → "returning home"
  • "actress in 1987 committed suicide" → "actress committed suicide in 1987"
  • "The film director" → "The director" or "Bluth"
  • move "because of the tragedy" to the start of the sentence
  • "Because" → "As" or "Since"
  • "they were" → "The crew were"
  • "While the crew was panicking, the industrial sound designer David Horten" → "However, industrial sound designer, David Horten,"
  • Remove or replace "which sent the staff in shock", a bit too informal

Appearances[edit]

Films[edit]

The Secret of NIMH[edit]
The Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the rescue[edit]
  • change. "Mrs. Brisby plays a minor role in the 1998 direct-to-video sequel, appearing older and making two appearances throughout the film."
Other appearances[edit]

Reception[edit]

  • "Mrs. Brisby has received positive receptions from critics" → "Mrs. Brisby has been positively received by critics"
    • "receptions" isn't a word so I would suggest going with the original change.
Fixed. PrimalMustelid (talk) 09:20, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • FishLoveHam (talk) 06:04, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "writer Sara Schmidt commended Don Bluth" → "writer, Sara Schmidt, commended Bluth"
  • "the book authors" → "authors" or "writers"
  • "personality combined" → "personality, combined"
  • ""lovable mother-mouse"" → "character"
  • Italicize "The Michigan Daily"
  • "expressed his dislike that Mrs. Brisby was portrayed" → "criticized Mrs. Brisby's portrayal"
  • "criticized her for being" → "commented that her character was"
  • add a comma after "young children"
  • "in voice acting" → "in her voice acting"
  • "Hartman's vocal performance of Mrs. Brisby was well-received by critics of other publications as well" → "Hartman's vocal performance of Mrs. Brisby was also well-received by critics"
  • "the fictional field mouse" → "it"
  • "considered that Mrs. Brisby is the best part of the movie" → "considered Mrs. Brisby as the best part of the film"
  • "because she took" → "as she took"
  • "unusual and dangerous" → "big" or "large"
  • "Justin Howe from Fantasy Magazine" → "Justin Howe of Fantasy Magazine"
  • "liked both that" → "admired that"
  • "who can be" → "who could be"
  • "by movie fans" → "by fans"
  • "any known first name" → "any knowledge of a first name"
  • "One of them told about how she found the mother's struggle to save her children in an otherwise "mostly uncaring and often contemptuous world" could garner close sympathy from most other mothers." → "One expressed how she found the character's struggle to save her children in an otherwise "mostly uncaring and often contemptuous world" could garner close sympathy from most mothers."
  • "Sharpson" - Who is Sharpson?
    • His first name, Neil, was mentioned earlier, but added first name again. PrimalMustelid (talk) 01:50, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "found Brisby to" - you know what I'm gonna say lol
    • Heh. Added "Mrs."
  • "wisecracking hero but" → "wisecracking hero, but"

References[edit]

  • refs 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 20, 24, 26, 27, 29, and 30 have live urls, I'd add "|url-status=live" to them.
  • happy to see they are archived.


That should be everything implemented, do let me know if there's anything else. Thank you so much for your time! PrimalMustelid (talk) 01:50, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for doing that all so quickly! Only one thing to really look at since I went in and ironed out a few little flaws. Let me know when done you're done! FishLoveHam (talk) 06:56, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed the last issue. Alright, should be done now. PrimalMustelid (talk) 09:20, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Awesome! I'll give it one last read just to be safe. Great job :) FishLoveHam (talk) 09:34, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Progress[edit]

GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

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